Well open up your mind and see like me
Open up your plans and damn you're free
Look into your heart and you'll find love,love,love love.

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September 2007
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Today I had a very curious dream.. or mayb I thin too much le ba.. as ppl say 日有所思， 夜有所梦

I deam abt him .. hais .. I not so sure how is it happen .. but in my dream I nO he nOt tat kind of person (as in: wit gals fool around blah blah blah ), but I still thin he is, (which in my heart keep saying tat he’s nOt )

M I silly ?..y m I so weak?.. m I stupid ? .. Always keep thinking of him .. I thin I mad!!!!!!

N I went in to his msn account .. (I no I shld not do dis) I saw his nick ….

“THE DAY WE SPENT THE TIME WE HAD IS THE BEST TIMES I HAD..!!HOW I WISH THE TIME STOP THERE...!!!IDIOT FOREVER THERE FOR YOU!!!!”

N yet he block mi .. is like WTF.. y he do tat to mi.. as a fren need to lidat ?.. den mayb I won’t put HIGH HOPE.. the nick sure is for someone else den …

Anyway he won’t cos of mi change his life .. to him, frens r impt like hell !!!!

Nvm… the storybook “its called break up b-cos its broken”.. helping mi to get rid of the pain in no time … thanks for the writer for writing tat book to solve my problems..

Labels: ....ii haTe Him a LoT a LoT....

today actuall hav a date wit HIM.. n i cancel it away.. due to his action!!!

CNY days don even sms or call mi.. said wat very busy..

fuckin wat la.. busy wat shit la.. gambling??.. surely, his pattern..

he don even no wat is AUTO.. i thin he reall not suit to haf a steady ...

n last min didn said meet wat SHIT.. den i cancel it away ..as i thin he so BUSY..n i don like to do ma fan things...

i jus thin tat go out wit him so ma fan.. keep on dragging.. which i don like it..

y cant b steady abit... since wann date ppl den thin of place, n do wat la.. y must i tin.. fuck..

dis make mi thin tat it so ma fan to haf a date... ...

Labels: ....ii haTe Him a LoT a LoT....

i donno dis time is it real???...or betting wit someone to jio mi bk again??.. or wan tat??.. or even treat tat i very stupid???..reall getting curious about it

or reall very sincerely jio-ing mi bk.. but y now den jio... dis is a question for mi to find out...as indeed i not good at all... ... here n tat all not so good ... all WORST lik shit....

but y sudden he wil ask for a patch???... + he sms very time, wit his sweet mouth which i very surprise.. is he reall n willin to chang??.. i not sure abt it...

i onl wil tin tat... eg. he sms mi tat he reach hm very early.. but indeed, is it reall true??.. i dunno at all .... or even he say he not at tat place or not wit his frens.. i oso not so sure is he reall saying e fact or a fake..

if its reall willin to chang, i of cos wil happy , but i cant confirm tat next time... ....

cos mostly all guy is when u can't get e thin, u wil treat the tin sweet n nice n treasure it very much.. but when u got it, u wil tin tat e thin is forever ur so wont tak good care of it n didn treasure it much...

tat wat i scared of.. indeed TRUE!!!... r u reall true to mi now?? BUT Y??... i reall can't figure it out ..

Labels: ....ii haTe Him a LoT a LoT....

i had enough le lo... wat wann jio mi bk.. dn make mi tin so much of getting high hope.. enough le lo.... stop makin fool of mi although i'm STUPID!!!... ....

my cousin toda saw u at tm walkin wit frens wit an ah beng walkin style n look!!!.. .. wat dis man!.. stil say off hp cos don wann contact wit frens.. .. ALL BULL SHIT!!!... ... KNS!!!

ytd still accidently call mi using ur mobile... tin u call wrong den.. u wil so good call mi??.. like real!!! ... in e end stil let mi no u lie to mi wat didn use mobile...

lie to mi again!!! once again!!! i alread had enough le.. i don even no wat is true or false fro ur mouth talkin to mi.. i won't believe u anymore... not even a single word..

mayb u shld find other gal more stupid den mi n play... stop play on mi.. i can't afford it.. thanks!!!... ...

Labels: ....ii haTe Him a LoT a LoT....

haiz.. i tin i shld not put high hope not it.. dis kind of guy.. i dun tink he wil change.. jus now c he send mi e msg-er saying he didn called mi ytd cos of ytd went down to c wat happen to his fren..

WTF.. .. sure no tat his fren r important to him no matter wat lo. .. still said wann change, n went bk to study.. i tin is jus sayin onl.. i snld not tin too much of it..

is like no matter how he change, frens r still important to him.. den fine wit mi.. i tin i shld not keep putting high hope on it..

mayb he alread had a gal fren outsid but jus tat i dunno n make mi wait for him.. n said tat he don haf any gal fren??.. . mak mi tin tat we haf e chance to patch??.. haiz ..

reall dunno wat he tinking abt.. onl he no it better..

Labels: ....ii haTe Him a LoT a LoT....

i today c somethin i shld not c.. .. his new blog!!!.. written all abt his stead.. how much he love n miss her.. is just like a story... ... last time stil say he not confirm his feelin n yet now.. i tin he alrea confirm.. ...

i reall donno wat i can do.. mayb i "yi xiang qing yuan" n tin too much.. i won't bhb le.. its hurt mi deeply in my heart!!!.. i was almost going to faint in my workin place.. i reall too weak to tak it!!! ...

mayb last time mi to him is rubbish as last time his blog were all sad stuffs didn even said how mi n him stay e memories stuffs.. FUCK!!!.. but now.. .. mayb he reall found his true love le.. even one mth anniv he don even gif mi anythin but now... .. haiz.. 4get it!!!..

its time for mi to 4get tat FUCKING BASTARD LIAR!!!

since he can 4get everythin .... so m i!!!... .. JIA YOU bernice !!!.. U can do better den him plus wil haf a better life n loves den him!!!

n today is e day tat a new over of BERNICE.. i wil rmb dis day.. which can say its my sec birthday day!!!...

Labels: ....ii haTe Him a LoT a LoT....

i today went to Yong Quan family's BBQ lo.. opposite down town east.. .. yvo, daryl, wynne, jeff korkor, jerral n Zhen you were there too.. o ya! wynne n daryl stead.. can u believe it! OMG!! very strange lols.. but nvm.. haha

den during e bbq, yvo n i go stroll n chat.. den chat till him.. den she say tat he got stead le.. sec 2 gals named nich! i was totally fucking wat lo! lie to mi ! didn tel mi he got a stead.. got stead still contact mi 4! ask mi 4 chat some more!! mayb a jus a fool!!! "TIAN ZHEN"... ... FUCKING BASTARD LIAR!!! can't b change at all!! NOT A LITTLE

i was reall sad n angry tat time los.. i can't describe it!!... FUCKING BASTARD LO!!! den at nite i sms him.. he said tat.. he not sure his feelings.. WTF lo!! stead le stil not sure feeling.. i not a fool again lo!! feel like beat him up n so is e gal!!???.. ( i no i bad, onl vent anger)




i swear i won't believe his any words again.. n PASSION to 4GET tat FUCKING BASTARD LIAR!!!.. no matter wat methods i use!!!

Labels: ....ii haTe Him a LoT a LoT....

dis 2 days he sms.. i donno y.. i hope he don let mi tin tat we got chance to patch bk???.. is jus like every of his msg, "dong yao" my heart n mind towards him... haiz.. mayb in his mind/heart, he reall treat mi as his meimei ba.. tat all... n jus now tat he at a gal e frens house.. haiz.. make mi more sad sad sad.. hurt hurt hurt...



its jus hurting mi.. i like having lots of stress.. he suddenl bk in my heart again.. wondering y i don like e, thy like mi.. i lik e.. thy don like mi..


1st, is Shi Lin (which i heard fro Jamie)... since so long le.. he stil like mi.. i no he caring towards mi.. i no everythin in him but i jus don haf e feeling.. 2nd, is ah Bao.. he oso caring toward mi.. keep helping mi do this do that e.. i was reall touch .. 3rd, is Zhen You... he oso keep acc mi when i'm alone e... i reall very touch in thm... ...


n oso i won't 4get my piggy korkor.. although he don like mi but he oso treat mi very good lo.. love him man!


i reall dunno how to face him le.. hope he can return all the tin tat i wan so can asap 4get him..

Labels: ....ii haTe Him a LoT a LoT....

there's lots n lots of tin happening around mi... it driving mi crazy to the MAX!!!.. n i need a support... just like him?? donno how him le?? donno he got stead le ma(although i wan to patch??)? n how his life is?? y can't i forget him!!!... stupid mi.. since he alread forget mi.. n i should forget him then.. i shld stop thinking abt him ..... FOOL OF MI!!!..

let mi tel u wat happen dis few days.. first, heard tat Zhen You like mi... den i feel.... YUK!!!.. suddenl got tat feelings loz.. mayb is cos tat e feelin to him is not there plus, he not my target man.. .. n my charac make him misunderstood tat i like him... n when he send a msg to mi saying "don treat mi so warm.. i wil misunderstand..tc".. den i tin don sms him better.. but aft few day, he sms mi again.. i felt very angry la.. is like don mak him misunderstan, stil sms mi 4 wat lo.. fuck!!

n i found out tat i study wit baojun is much better den zhen you?? cos baojun is more quiet den zhen you??.. n mi n baojun no each others since sec 1 so e relationship btw us is better den zhen you ba.. shh... ... n bao jun oso like mi .. tat wat he told mi.. is jus like i don understan when did i HOOK thm lo.. mak thm like mi.. tat y i prefer go alone or wit my stead... but now single so mixin around?? tat y an eg of Zhen You wil like mi(treat tat i BHB)... y can't guys treat mi as fren but not jus like mi, tat y close to mi?? i hate mysel a lot!! like i so cheap lidat.. haiz.

Labels: ....ii haTe Him a LoT a LoT....

i reall hurt a lot... hurt very deeply den b4!!!... ... i'm reall is a fool of myself by believing n trust him... he YTD stil said he tired of lying as need to hide here n there.. n oso said he wil not go out anymore as his mum said, once go out no i-pod n internet... n yet i believe him tat he reall wil change??... but i was totally a BIG FOOL... ...

today i stayed in skol wit hui jean study very late.. abt 8 plus??.. but b4 tat, abt 5 plus i got a feeling tat he won't so good stayed at hm but go out so i sms to tat bastard said where him, but he don't even reply mi so i called his mobile, no one ans.. after a few mins, he sms mi y i called him..den i asked him where he den he said he outside e house smoking n asked mi why..


so i felt very strange cos he won't b so good.. so i sms him ltr where he wil b going.. (in my heart how much i wish he wil said he won't go out) n he said ltr going to Katong wit QZ onl BUYING clothes.. who wil BELIEVE!!!onl a fool wil believe his lies!!!... ...


YTD still said won't go out.. in the end lei?? PUKE!! OPPOSITE way of doing!!.. if i won't asked him he won't tel mi! n i can sense tat he not at hm tat time.. so i sms him" since u now at hm haven go out rite? den use ur house phone call mi.. u dare!!".. den he didn't reply..


he didnt reply can shown tat all i sense is all accurate.. tat bastard liar.. i won't believe him anymore!! i not a fool keep letting him lie to mi.. YTD stil say if let him choose either mi or his frens, he will choose mi.. but agai n agai he lie to mi cos of his GANGSTER FRENS.. i reall "BU RU" his FRENS..


n he didn even bother to sms mi if i reach hm or bother to sms mi.. he jus didn care.. mayb he now enjoying wit FRENS or GALSFRENS.. who NOS!! haiz..

if not he wil enjoyed finish le den looked 4 mi n "hong" mi... don u feel very wat??.. is like i e "BACK PACK".. everythin is always i e last.. everytim said to him tat he didn care mi, he wil gif lots of rubbish n craps excuses.. haiz.. i reall tolerate enough.. i shld not care dis BASTARD as he don even care mi but saying all e lies.. he wil not realize how bad he broke my heart again n again!! until can't b mend.. i wouldn tust him anymore.. we shld end here..

treat tat i unlucky tat i met him which gif mysel a miserable n no trust in dis world.. wishing mi to 4get abt him ASAP!! n let him find a galz tat can LIE on.. but jus not mi can liao.. ...

Labels: ....ii haTe Him a LoT a LoT....

its hurts my feeling lo... n i break up wit him.. dis fews dayz he keep lying to mi... it hurt my heart very BADLY lo... past two days of the lies, forget it, lets talk abt today...

my cousin saw him at CS wit a bunch of "GANGSTER" frens.. ... den i sms him where he.. u no wat he send??.. he said he under his blk n going to TM.. wat fuck lo.. still dare to lie to mi.. FUCKING WAT LO!!! !!!... my cousin said he walk like a "paikia" lidat... ah beng ah lian... when i heard it i CRIED!!! cos i was so stupid tat i trust him e passed 1 yrs.. i tin i won't 4give him!!!!

ytd still say he wil jio mi bk again n stil say he love mi.... i don't tin there's a need!!!.. i don wan to c him again!!! if i c him, I WIL PUNCH OR SLAP HIS FACE!! HE DESERVE MORE DEN TAT!!! i wann get all my tin tat belong to mi can liao!!! as i wann burn it, so can 4get everythin.. so is tat BASTARD!!!

so ytd i lied to him tat i haf a stead, n i two timer him.. n the "STEAD" treat mi vry good.. no how to date mi out, go having yummy, n lots, more ... ... cos i wann act tat i "xin fu" but not sad without him.. n he not worth 4 mi to do dis!!!! !!!... treat tat i haf a invisible stead lo.. (i like despo 4 a stead)

at night i haf some call of "date" wit Zhen You n his fren at bedok there e mcd study n i took a "puff".. as i reall fan.. when go hm, i was so alone... eg just like in a bus, i was so cold, need a ppl to gif mi some warm i can lean on e shoulder.. but beside mi there nobody around!!! !!! n oso when i walk alone, no one acc mi.. haiz.. fate to b alone ba..

since he can lie to mi abt his frens.. can c in his heart i not impt at all!!! !!! so for e past 1 yr.. he like mi is all FAKE.. really fake!!! y i can't find a guy who can doted mi, WON'T LIE to mi (e impt tin)... mayb i stayed to b single!... ... if i wann stead, i b come les better... having an opposite sex is damn sad!!!

Labels: ....ii haTe Him a LoT a LoT....

Today i meet him aft skol, but b4 tat i keep thinkin tat "wat if ltr wil quarrel just like last time how? n plus if he wil send mi hm, wil he go out jus lik last time??.." i reall hope my 6 sense wil not so accurate but....haiz.. i don like e feelings at all!!! it make my heart hurt jus like dis picture...



During my BORING skol lesson, it was totally bored to DEATH!!!... no one talk to mi except hui jean n yuan xin... the rest like treat mi as transparent... haiz. mayb my fate is not to mak wit frenz??? haiz.. forget it, use to it ba...

Aft skol i went n meet him, n we having a great chat???... but til i realised his hp got a photo which was taken on 29 septemb 07, at night around 10pm lidat... but tat time he said he was in the market.. don u tin he was lying???.. trust him got wat use?? haiz.. wat m i to him?? mayb its a toy or a rubbish!!!... who no???...

i serious talkin wit him, but he joke around.. n when his grandma n mum came in, he gif an attitud towards thm.. dis mak mi tin tat is i cause him to gif attitud to his family.. haiz.. i oso donno wat to say him.. actuall his family members dote him a lot.. but he treat them lidat.. i donno how to say him.. when i c him lidat, it hurt my feelin n my heart as y my stead wil lidat..

when i c his uncle gif him $20 he don even say thank u or watever fuck lo.. he stil got e face to take it n spent.. dis mak mi tin tat he a useless stead to mi.. can't even earn $$ n keep on lying to e surroundin ppl.. i reall don understand y he must lie.. but he keep delined tat he didn't.. i no his pattern lo.. lie but didn say don haf..

haiz, when he sending mi hm, he wearing like so wat lo!!! like going to town lidat.. he stil said he go walk walk.. but go stroll don need to wear until lidat e lo.. plus he said 10plus den reach hm.. WAT E FUCK!!! stroll need so long meh??!!! wann lie who?? so b4 i board in e bus, i told him, if i reall impt to him, reach hm b4 9pm, no matter wat.. if not i wil ask 4 break, n i'm serios abt it!!!! but he didn seem to listen to my saying!!!

now alrea 10plus, yet he stil haven sms mi.. CAN C I REALL NOT IMPT TO HIM.. n i tin i prepar to break oso.. i alread mean wat i said le... mayb tat e anding ba.. happy 4 him.. got freedom liao..

really hope i got a USEFUL stead, which can tin of e future, concern mi,
happy wit mi, save $$, din hang around, support e famil.. .. but he is e opposite side of it.. haiz..mayb going to break soon!!!!

Labels: ....ii haTe Him a LoT a LoT....

Saturday, September 29, 2007 / 7:19 AM

sTiLL LiKiNg Him??oR haT3 hIM??!!

sTiLL LiKiNg Him??oR haT3 hIM??!!

dis morning i ask him for break.. den he say anythin.. i tot when saying that i wil relax n haf my own freedom but it's hurt my heart a lots... mayb i still like him???.. but y i wil like dis kind of guy?? but not other guy which make mi touch n won't make mi disappointed n angry N LOTS MORE... ....


so i ask him to meet mi my blk downstair to gif him e cupcake cake which wan my "LIFE"... ... if i don gif him, who m i giving to rite?? jus throw away like no one wil no or appreciate abt it... so i gif him 8 cupcakes, the other 4 i keep it... if not i buy le den i no chance to eat like not worth lidat hor.. agree???

when i met him, he like acting to b sick idat.. who no??.. when i gif him e cake, he asked mi to tak bk.. BULL SHIT lo.. call him to come of cos gif him tin, y cal mi to tak bk?? really don understan lo.. hmm.. after he taken, he don wan to go home but staying at there.. den i keep on askin him to go hm, he tin tat i was rushing to go out wit "FRENZ".. dots lo!! den i wait for him to go home till i can't stand any longer, i jus stand up n go to other direction for a stroll...

suddenly he chase behind.. kept on askin mi where i wann go.. den i said 'non of ur business'... den i wlk away, but he don let.. hmm.. he kept on askin n askin n hold my hand very tight til red, so i said" u is u, mi is mi, i wlk where, u no right to no...' den he asked mi can he haf a talk wit mi.. den we went to a blk staircase to talk..

at e stair case i sat down there didnt do anythin.. he asked mi wat i wan den i said i wan a break up.. but he said he disagree, so can't b aproved!! WAT LOGIC IS TAT!!! den donno WAT SHIT or SWEET tin he said, i actuall gif him chance.. stupid mi lo!!!


so i at staircase celebrat "BIRTHDAY" wit him.. when he c the cake, he like no reaction.. didn't do anythin to mi.. like a big thank u or wat lo.. hmmm... den i put a candle on top of the cake.. when he blow e candle, it relight again..wonderful isn't it?? haha..
>>>>donn wat his birthday wishes???...

den after tat he gif mi a ring which is black.. is like totally wat lo... e finger size not fit at all.. hmmm. can c tat we no future at all... last time e ring better den dis lo.. at least last time e ring can fit mi n he help mi wore it. but dis time, he jus throw n gif mi.. HUMP!!! no "chen yi" at all!!!.. dis guy'bu yao ye ba'... ...



den after tat, we went hm.. but went hm time. donno how he take.. e cupcakes b come so....lik SHIT lo.. bang here bang there.. e cake all mess up le.. even e words n smiling face all missing... den he don feel anythin.. lik didnt feel heart pain ... wasting my effort lidat lo!! he don heart pain i heart X100 times pain.. HUMP!!!so angry...

when reach hm.. i so regret?? cos actuall i plannin to gif him a shirt n a special card for him.. but i find it ugly.. haiz ... wasting my effort...


MY DESIGNING SHIRT FOR HIM! ... ...

^^^^dis shirt i reall love it.. esp on e left side of the picture... the most i like is e rocket... like damn cool lo.. so nice, n so is e blue alien.. n e rest is ugly.. i don dare to gif it to him as i scared he don like dis staff n he won't "xin shang" dis tin jus like e cupcake i gif him???

MY DESIGNING CARD FOR HIM! ... ...
n dis card i tin very long to design lo.. as e card is make of jean cloth.. n insid i wrote lots of tin.. n its so nice?? (i tin la!) n i sew n mark e point carefully by myself lo.. den wat in e end, didn't gif, so wasted!! donno how to handle dis card?? throw away? gif ppl or keep it to myself??...>>>>

mayb we reall haf no fate.. my senses tel mi tat.. hmmm.. hope i can ASAP forget him.. thanks!!!

Labels: ....ii haTe Him a LoT a LoT....

Friday, September 28, 2007 / 5:21 PM

HaPpY BiRtHdAy tO hiM??

HaPpY BiRtHdAy tO hiM??

Today is his birthday, and i not the one who celebrate with him but his "FRENZ".. dis make mi feel very wat, like i not impt lidat!!!

make mi plan a special birthday for him by going to waterloo centre which is near bugis area, order a cupcake cake for him as i wann to make it a differences dis year

^^^dis cake very nice isn't it?? but nice got wat use??..

ppl dun even no. onl waste my effort!!!

cos of dis stupid cake, make mi feel unwell... cos ytd 'he' say he will tak off n "prove to mi" n oso acc mi go collect as actuall wednesda is the date line of "prove to mi" tin, den in the end wat i get?? disappointment n angry but nothin else!!!

haiz. so i go to city hall to buy some "shirt ink" to design shirt for him.. den take bus 197 to bugis but in the end, i take wrong direction n just nice alight at my work place "Hong Lim Complex" ... den walk a LONG LONG way to tak other bus, so i took bus 145. suddenly feel head pain.. maybe is cos of the stupid sun!! n oso NO one acc mi!!

when reaching bugis area, i alight wrong place, n need to walk for long long distance... n tat time suddenly wish to vomit lo.. STUPID SUN!!!! hmmm.. den when i collect the cake,got some kind of "man zhu gan".. dunno y?? haiz...

but when i reached home ytd, its already 4plus, n yet, a concern of him, don even haf!!! den i sms him tell him tat i reached hm n guess he going to work ... n he sms tel mi 'NO'.. den fine, ok wit it if he don even concern mi!! but at night, don't even sms or wat.. making mi worry.. keep calling n sms.. even sms his mum..

but he 11 den reached hm.. i was so angry as he go out don even tel mi abt it!! wat m i to him actuall!! so i sms him tel him where he go, all he can say is ltr.. i was so fedup tat i say, i don wish to no n tc... few min ltr he cal mi n say he gone work, i was totally angry la!! go work don even sms tel mi, n his excuses is" hp going to no $, so must save" WAT E FUCK!! is his hp $ impt or mi??

sometimes i really curious is he reall like mi? i tin its fake!! who no?? onl he e one who no abt it!! n say, he went to the police station.. if not he can meet mi.. who wil believe??wat a joke.. if got the heart to come, no matter got go police station a not, stil wil come meet mi.. n he said he can't listen to my phone is cos tat he in police station..

i wondering in police station cannot ans phone meh?? excuses onl!! mayb ha wit other gal or other ppl den "bu hao yi si" listen to the phone... i reall dunno him.. he keep lyin n lyin.. n i tried of it!! n jus the date line is over, i tin we haf no fate to b together.. haiz.. n u no wat he say ytd??? he say saturday den "do" it.. WAT E FUCK lo..

y can't he like other guys??? once make ppl angry shld quickly do somethin suprise or make ppl won't angry... but he lei?? e opposite way of doing onl!!! is just like u haf a cut in ur hand, u must as fast as possible to make a treatment to e hand, if not it will getting infection or even worst!! dis example is jus extracly e same as tat...

i told him tat, but he seem to act blur.. den forget it.. i oso don wish to haf a stead like him.. i wish my stead can concern mi, wher i wan to go, he will acc, faithful to mi, won't lie to mi, make mi angry wil try to "hong" mi, n do some romance staff which can make mi shock or suprise... BUT "HE" lei?? alway mak mi angry, don even mak a romance staffs, cos of saving sms he don even tel mi where he go or watever fuck, lie to mi, n lots more.. ....


my feeling is just like dis picture>>>>

feeling very alone n lonely.. got stead n no stead there's no different at all.. having stead shld b happy n wish to maintain lidat.. but for mi, having a stead alwa mak mysel angry n disappointment each day.. haiz..

but secretly can say tat time reall can forget everythin.. so is relationship???... as i almost going to forget him... just onl a little step forwar onl.. but now, mi to him still got a little bit likes????.. but is less love den b4... last time so love him till mad.. silly rite.. haha..

mayb i won't tat sillly anymor le.. is not ur, wat for keep holding in the hand, rite?? n toda he don even call or sms mi, haiz.. stil say wil top up $ today.. in e end wat i got?? onl wil go n enjoy..i reall very sad... n i cry!!!

haiz.. my life reall miserable.. n he cal mi just now (at night) say he now wann go pasir ris park ALONE.. who will believe!!!!!! i don understan y he lidat treat mi!! even i say i wan him go hm, he die die must go pasir ris park, somethin reall fishy.. i can tel u tat.. he sure wit fren some where or wit his "GALZFRENZ"..

i can't trust him anymore..even i now angry, he wont even care abt it!!! jus enjoy his birthday.. his birthda very big la!!! den b it!! can feel tat i not impt to him at all.. n i no wat to do alread..break up!!!!! !!!!!

i reall haave enough of it le!!! !!! !!! ... ....

Labels: ....ii haTe Him a LoT a LoT....

Well open up your mind and see like me
Open up your plans and damn you're free
Look into your heart and you'll find love,love,love love.

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September 2007
October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009

Designer:xoxocrystal.
Basecodes:crumple-dlove/a>
Icon:collapsingnight

Today I had a very curious dream.. or mayb I thin too much le ba.. as ppl say 日有所思， 夜有所梦

I deam abt him .. hais .. I not so sure how is it happen .. but in my dream I nO he nOt tat kind of person (as in: wit gals fool around blah blah blah ), but I still thin he is, (which in my heart keep saying tat he’s nOt )

M I silly ?..y m I so weak?.. m I stupid ? .. Always keep thinking of him .. I thin I mad!!!!!!

N I went in to his msn account .. (I no I shld not do dis) I saw his nick ….

“THE DAY WE SPENT THE TIME WE HAD IS THE BEST TIMES I HAD..!!HOW I WISH THE TIME STOP THERE...!!!IDIOT FOREVER THERE FOR YOU!!!!”

N yet he block mi .. is like WTF.. y he do tat to mi.. as a fren need to lidat ?.. den mayb I won’t put HIGH HOPE.. the nick sure is for someone else den …

Anyway he won’t cos of mi change his life .. to him, frens r impt like hell !!!!

Nvm… the storybook “its called break up b-cos its broken”.. helping mi to get rid of the pain in no time … thanks for the writer for writing tat book to solve my problems..

Labels: ....ii haTe Him a LoT a LoT....

today actuall hav a date wit HIM.. n i cancel it away.. due to his action!!!

CNY days don even sms or call mi.. said wat very busy..

fuckin wat la.. busy wat shit la.. gambling??.. surely, his pattern..

he don even no wat is AUTO.. i thin he reall not suit to haf a steady ...

n last min didn said meet wat SHIT.. den i cancel it away ..as i thin he so BUSY..n i don like to do ma fan things...

i jus thin tat go out wit him so ma fan.. keep on dragging.. which i don like it..

y cant b steady abit... since wann date ppl den thin of place, n do wat la.. y must i tin.. fuck..

dis make mi thin tat it so ma fan to haf a date... ...

Labels: ....ii haTe Him a LoT a LoT....

i donno dis time is it real???...or betting wit someone to jio mi bk again??.. or wan tat??.. or even treat tat i very stupid???..reall getting curious about it

or reall very sincerely jio-ing mi bk.. but y now den jio... dis is a question for mi to find out...as indeed i not good at all... ... here n tat all not so good ... all WORST lik shit....

but y sudden he wil ask for a patch???... + he sms very time, wit his sweet mouth which i very surprise.. is he reall n willin to chang??.. i not sure abt it...

i onl wil tin tat... eg. he sms mi tat he reach hm very early.. but indeed, is it reall true??.. i dunno at all .... or even he say he not at tat place or not wit his frens.. i oso not so sure is he reall saying e fact or a fake..

if its reall willin to chang, i of cos wil happy , but i cant confirm tat next time... ....

cos mostly all guy is when u can't get e thin, u wil treat the tin sweet n nice n treasure it very much.. but when u got it, u wil tin tat e thin is forever ur so wont tak good care of it n didn treasure it much...

tat wat i scared of.. indeed TRUE!!!... r u reall true to mi now?? BUT Y??... i reall can't figure it out ..

Labels: ....ii haTe Him a LoT a LoT....

i had enough le lo... wat wann jio mi bk.. dn make mi tin so much of getting high hope.. enough le lo.... stop makin fool of mi although i'm STUPID!!!... ....

my cousin toda saw u at tm walkin wit frens wit an ah beng walkin style n look!!!.. .. wat dis man!.. stil say off hp cos don wann contact wit frens.. .. ALL BULL SHIT!!!... ... KNS!!!

ytd still accidently call mi using ur mobile... tin u call wrong den.. u wil so good call mi??.. like real!!! ... in e end stil let mi no u lie to mi wat didn use mobile...

lie to mi again!!! once again!!! i alread had enough le.. i don even no wat is true or false fro ur mouth talkin to mi.. i won't believe u anymore... not even a single word..

mayb u shld find other gal more stupid den mi n play... stop play on mi.. i can't afford it.. thanks!!!... ...

Labels: ....ii haTe Him a LoT a LoT....

haiz.. i tin i shld not put high hope not it.. dis kind of guy.. i dun tink he wil change.. jus now c he send mi e msg-er saying he didn called mi ytd cos of ytd went down to c wat happen to his fren..

WTF.. .. sure no tat his fren r important to him no matter wat lo. .. still said wann change, n went bk to study.. i tin is jus sayin onl.. i snld not tin too much of it..

is like no matter how he change, frens r still important to him.. den fine wit mi.. i tin i shld not keep putting high hope on it..

mayb he alread had a gal fren outsid but jus tat i dunno n make mi wait for him.. n said tat he don haf any gal fren??.. . mak mi tin tat we haf e chance to patch??.. haiz ..

reall dunno wat he tinking abt.. onl he no it better..

Labels: ....ii haTe Him a LoT a LoT....

i today c somethin i shld not c.. .. his new blog!!!.. written all abt his stead.. how much he love n miss her.. is just like a story... ... last time stil say he not confirm his feelin n yet now.. i tin he alrea confirm.. ...

i reall donno wat i can do.. mayb i "yi xiang qing yuan" n tin too much.. i won't bhb le.. its hurt mi deeply in my heart!!!.. i was almost going to faint in my workin place.. i reall too weak to tak it!!! ...

mayb last time mi to him is rubbish as last time his blog were all sad stuffs didn even said how mi n him stay e memories stuffs.. FUCK!!!.. but now.. .. mayb he reall found his true love le.. even one mth anniv he don even gif mi anythin but now... .. haiz.. 4get it!!!..

its time for mi to 4get tat FUCKING BASTARD LIAR!!!

since he can 4get everythin .... so m i!!!... .. JIA YOU bernice !!!.. U can do better den him plus wil haf a better life n loves den him!!!

n today is e day tat a new over of BERNICE.. i wil rmb dis day.. which can say its my sec birthday day!!!...

Labels: ....ii haTe Him a LoT a LoT....

i today went to Yong Quan family's BBQ lo.. opposite down town east.. .. yvo, daryl, wynne, jeff korkor, jerral n Zhen you were there too.. o ya! wynne n daryl stead.. can u believe it! OMG!! very strange lols.. but nvm.. haha

den during e bbq, yvo n i go stroll n chat.. den chat till him.. den she say tat he got stead le.. sec 2 gals named nich! i was totally fucking wat lo! lie to mi ! didn tel mi he got a stead.. got stead still contact mi 4! ask mi 4 chat some more!! mayb a jus a fool!!! "TIAN ZHEN"... ... FUCKING BASTARD LIAR!!! can't b change at all!! NOT A LITTLE

i was reall sad n angry tat time los.. i can't describe it!!... FUCKING BASTARD LO!!! den at nite i sms him.. he said tat.. he not sure his feelings.. WTF lo!! stead le stil not sure feeling.. i not a fool again lo!! feel like beat him up n so is e gal!!???.. ( i no i bad, onl vent anger)




i swear i won't believe his any words again.. n PASSION to 4GET tat FUCKING BASTARD LIAR!!!.. no matter wat methods i use!!!

Labels: ....ii haTe Him a LoT a LoT....

dis 2 days he sms.. i donno y.. i hope he don let mi tin tat we got chance to patch bk???.. is jus like every of his msg, "dong yao" my heart n mind towards him... haiz.. mayb in his mind/heart, he reall treat mi as his meimei ba.. tat all... n jus now tat he at a gal e frens house.. haiz.. make mi more sad sad sad.. hurt hurt hurt...



its jus hurting mi.. i like having lots of stress.. he suddenl bk in my heart again.. wondering y i don like e, thy like mi.. i lik e.. thy don like mi..


1st, is Shi Lin (which i heard fro Jamie)... since so long le.. he stil like mi.. i no he caring towards mi.. i no everythin in him but i jus don haf e feeling.. 2nd, is ah Bao.. he oso caring toward mi.. keep helping mi do this do that e.. i was reall touch .. 3rd, is Zhen You... he oso keep acc mi when i'm alone e... i reall very touch in thm... ...


n oso i won't 4get my piggy korkor.. although he don like mi but he oso treat mi very good lo.. love him man!


i reall dunno how to face him le.. hope he can return all the tin tat i wan so can asap 4get him..

Labels: ....ii haTe Him a LoT a LoT....

there's lots n lots of tin happening around mi... it driving mi crazy to the MAX!!!.. n i need a support... just like him?? donno how him le?? donno he got stead le ma(although i wan to patch??)? n how his life is?? y can't i forget him!!!... stupid mi.. since he alread forget mi.. n i should forget him then.. i shld stop thinking abt him ..... FOOL OF MI!!!..

let mi tel u wat happen dis few days.. first, heard tat Zhen You like mi... den i feel.... YUK!!!.. suddenl got tat feelings loz.. mayb is cos tat e feelin to him is not there plus, he not my target man.. .. n my charac make him misunderstood tat i like him... n when he send a msg to mi saying "don treat mi so warm.. i wil misunderstand..tc".. den i tin don sms him better.. but aft few day, he sms mi again.. i felt very angry la.. is like don mak him misunderstan, stil sms mi 4 wat lo.. fuck!!

n i found out tat i study wit baojun is much better den zhen you?? cos baojun is more quiet den zhen you??.. n mi n baojun no each others since sec 1 so e relationship btw us is better den zhen you ba.. shh... ... n bao jun oso like mi .. tat wat he told mi.. is jus like i don understan when did i HOOK thm lo.. mak thm like mi.. tat y i prefer go alone or wit my stead... but now single so mixin around?? tat y an eg of Zhen You wil like mi(treat tat i BHB)... y can't guys treat mi as fren but not jus like mi, tat y close to mi?? i hate mysel a lot!! like i so cheap lidat.. haiz.

Labels: ....ii haTe Him a LoT a LoT....

i reall hurt a lot... hurt very deeply den b4!!!... ... i'm reall is a fool of myself by believing n trust him... he YTD stil said he tired of lying as need to hide here n there.. n oso said he wil not go out anymore as his mum said, once go out no i-pod n internet... n yet i believe him tat he reall wil change??... but i was totally a BIG FOOL... ...

today i stayed in skol wit hui jean study very late.. abt 8 plus??.. but b4 tat, abt 5 plus i got a feeling tat he won't so good stayed at hm but go out so i sms to tat bastard said where him, but he don't even reply mi so i called his mobile, no one ans.. after a few mins, he sms mi y i called him..den i asked him where he den he said he outside e house smoking n asked mi why..


so i felt very strange cos he won't b so good.. so i sms him ltr where he wil b going.. (in my heart how much i wish he wil said he won't go out) n he said ltr going to Katong wit QZ onl BUYING clothes.. who wil BELIEVE!!!onl a fool wil believe his lies!!!... ...


YTD still said won't go out.. in the end lei?? PUKE!! OPPOSITE way of doing!!.. if i won't asked him he won't tel mi! n i can sense tat he not at hm tat time.. so i sms him" since u now at hm haven go out rite? den use ur house phone call mi.. u dare!!".. den he didn't reply..


he didnt reply can shown tat all i sense is all accurate.. tat bastard liar.. i won't believe him anymore!! i not a fool keep letting him lie to mi.. YTD stil say if let him choose either mi or his frens, he will choose mi.. but agai n agai he lie to mi cos of his GANGSTER FRENS.. i reall "BU RU" his FRENS..


n he didn even bother to sms mi if i reach hm or bother to sms mi.. he jus didn care.. mayb he now enjoying wit FRENS or GALSFRENS.. who NOS!! haiz..

if not he wil enjoyed finish le den looked 4 mi n "hong" mi... don u feel very wat??.. is like i e "BACK PACK".. everythin is always i e last.. everytim said to him tat he didn care mi, he wil gif lots of rubbish n craps excuses.. haiz.. i reall tolerate enough.. i shld not care dis BASTARD as he don even care mi but saying all e lies.. he wil not realize how bad he broke my heart again n again!! until can't b mend.. i wouldn tust him anymore.. we shld end here..

treat tat i unlucky tat i met him which gif mysel a miserable n no trust in dis world.. wishing mi to 4get abt him ASAP!! n let him find a galz tat can LIE on.. but jus not mi can liao.. ...

Labels: ....ii haTe Him a LoT a LoT....

its hurts my feeling lo... n i break up wit him.. dis fews dayz he keep lying to mi... it hurt my heart very BADLY lo... past two days of the lies, forget it, lets talk abt today...

my cousin saw him at CS wit a bunch of "GANGSTER" frens.. ... den i sms him where he.. u no wat he send??.. he said he under his blk n going to TM.. wat fuck lo.. still dare to lie to mi.. FUCKING WAT LO!!! !!!... my cousin said he walk like a "paikia" lidat... ah beng ah lian... when i heard it i CRIED!!! cos i was so stupid tat i trust him e passed 1 yrs.. i tin i won't 4give him!!!!

ytd still say he wil jio mi bk again n stil say he love mi.... i don't tin there's a need!!!.. i don wan to c him again!!! if i c him, I WIL PUNCH OR SLAP HIS FACE!! HE DESERVE MORE DEN TAT!!! i wann get all my tin tat belong to mi can liao!!! as i wann burn it, so can 4get everythin.. so is tat BASTARD!!!

so ytd i lied to him tat i haf a stead, n i two timer him.. n the "STEAD" treat mi vry good.. no how to date mi out, go having yummy, n lots, more ... ... cos i wann act tat i "xin fu" but not sad without him.. n he not worth 4 mi to do dis!!!! !!!... treat tat i haf a invisible stead lo.. (i like despo 4 a stead)

at night i haf some call of "date" wit Zhen You n his fren at bedok there e mcd study n i took a "puff".. as i reall fan.. when go hm, i was so alone... eg just like in a bus, i was so cold, need a ppl to gif mi some warm i can lean on e shoulder.. but beside mi there nobody around!!! !!! n oso when i walk alone, no one acc mi.. haiz.. fate to b alone ba..

since he can lie to mi abt his frens.. can c in his heart i not impt at all!!! !!! so for e past 1 yr.. he like mi is all FAKE.. really fake!!! y i can't find a guy who can doted mi, WON'T LIE to mi (e impt tin)... mayb i stayed to b single!... ... if i wann stead, i b come les better... having an opposite sex is damn sad!!!

Labels: ....ii haTe Him a LoT a LoT....

Today i meet him aft skol, but b4 tat i keep thinkin tat "wat if ltr wil quarrel just like last time how? n plus if he wil send mi hm, wil he go out jus lik last time??.." i reall hope my 6 sense wil not so accurate but....haiz.. i don like e feelings at all!!! it make my heart hurt jus like dis picture...



During my BORING skol lesson, it was totally bored to DEATH!!!... no one talk to mi except hui jean n yuan xin... the rest like treat mi as transparent... haiz. mayb my fate is not to mak wit frenz??? haiz.. forget it, use to it ba...

Aft skol i went n meet him, n we having a great chat???... but til i realised his hp got a photo which was taken on 29 septemb 07, at night around 10pm lidat... but tat time he said he was in the market.. don u tin he was lying???.. trust him got wat use?? haiz.. wat m i to him?? mayb its a toy or a rubbish!!!... who no???...

i serious talkin wit him, but he joke around.. n when his grandma n mum came in, he gif an attitud towards thm.. dis mak mi tin tat is i cause him to gif attitud to his family.. haiz.. i oso donno wat to say him.. actuall his family members dote him a lot.. but he treat them lidat.. i donno how to say him.. when i c him lidat, it hurt my feelin n my heart as y my stead wil lidat..

when i c his uncle gif him $20 he don even say thank u or watever fuck lo.. he stil got e face to take it n spent.. dis mak mi tin tat he a useless stead to mi.. can't even earn $$ n keep on lying to e surroundin ppl.. i reall don understand y he must lie.. but he keep delined tat he didn't.. i no his pattern lo.. lie but didn say don haf..

haiz, when he sending mi hm, he wearing like so wat lo!!! like going to town lidat.. he stil said he go walk walk.. but go stroll don need to wear until lidat e lo.. plus he said 10plus den reach hm.. WAT E FUCK!!! stroll need so long meh??!!! wann lie who?? so b4 i board in e bus, i told him, if i reall impt to him, reach hm b4 9pm, no matter wat.. if not i wil ask 4 break, n i'm serios abt it!!!! but he didn seem to listen to my saying!!!

now alrea 10plus, yet he stil haven sms mi.. CAN C I REALL NOT IMPT TO HIM.. n i tin i prepar to break oso.. i alread mean wat i said le... mayb tat e anding ba.. happy 4 him.. got freedom liao..

really hope i got a USEFUL stead, which can tin of e future, concern mi,
happy wit mi, save $$, din hang around, support e famil.. .. but he is e opposite side of it.. haiz..mayb going to break soon!!!!

Labels: ....ii haTe Him a LoT a LoT....

Saturday, September 29, 2007 / 7:19 AM

sTiLL LiKiNg Him??oR haT3 hIM??!!

sTiLL LiKiNg Him??oR haT3 hIM??!!

dis morning i ask him for break.. den he say anythin.. i tot when saying that i wil relax n haf my own freedom but it's hurt my heart a lots... mayb i still like him???.. but y i wil like dis kind of guy?? but not other guy which make mi touch n won't make mi disappointed n angry N LOTS MORE... ....


so i ask him to meet mi my blk downstair to gif him e cupcake cake which wan my "LIFE"... ... if i don gif him, who m i giving to rite?? jus throw away like no one wil no or appreciate abt it... so i gif him 8 cupcakes, the other 4 i keep it... if not i buy le den i no chance to eat like not worth lidat hor.. agree???

when i met him, he like acting to b sick idat.. who no??.. when i gif him e cake, he asked mi to tak bk.. BULL SHIT lo.. call him to come of cos gif him tin, y cal mi to tak bk?? really don understan lo.. hmm.. after he taken, he don wan to go home but staying at there.. den i keep on askin him to go hm, he tin tat i was rushing to go out wit "FRENZ".. dots lo!! den i wait for him to go home till i can't stand any longer, i jus stand up n go to other direction for a stroll...

suddenly he chase behind.. kept on askin mi where i wann go.. den i said 'non of ur business'... den i wlk away, but he don let.. hmm.. he kept on askin n askin n hold my hand very tight til red, so i said" u is u, mi is mi, i wlk where, u no right to no...' den he asked mi can he haf a talk wit mi.. den we went to a blk staircase to talk..

at e stair case i sat down there didnt do anythin.. he asked mi wat i wan den i said i wan a break up.. but he said he disagree, so can't b aproved!! WAT LOGIC IS TAT!!! den donno WAT SHIT or SWEET tin he said, i actuall gif him chance.. stupid mi lo!!!


so i at staircase celebrat "BIRTHDAY" wit him.. when he c the cake, he like no reaction.. didn't do anythin to mi.. like a big thank u or wat lo.. hmmm... den i put a candle on top of the cake.. when he blow e candle, it relight again..wonderful isn't it?? haha..
>>>>donn wat his birthday wishes???...

den after tat he gif mi a ring which is black.. is like totally wat lo... e finger size not fit at all.. hmmm. can c tat we no future at all... last time e ring better den dis lo.. at least last time e ring can fit mi n he help mi wore it. but dis time, he jus throw n gif mi.. HUMP!!! no "chen yi" at all!!!.. dis guy'bu yao ye ba'... ...



den after tat, we went hm.. but went hm time. donno how he take.. e cupcakes b come so....lik SHIT lo.. bang here bang there.. e cake all mess up le.. even e words n smiling face all missing... den he don feel anythin.. lik didnt feel heart pain ... wasting my effort lidat lo!! he don heart pain i heart X100 times pain.. HUMP!!!so angry...

when reach hm.. i so regret?? cos actuall i plannin to gif him a shirt n a special card for him.. but i find it ugly.. haiz ... wasting my effort...


MY DESIGNING SHIRT FOR HIM! ... ...

^^^^dis shirt i reall love it.. esp on e left side of the picture... the most i like is e rocket... like damn cool lo.. so nice, n so is e blue alien.. n e rest is ugly.. i don dare to gif it to him as i scared he don like dis staff n he won't "xin shang" dis tin jus like e cupcake i gif him???

MY DESIGNING CARD FOR HIM! ... ...
n dis card i tin very long to design lo.. as e card is make of jean cloth.. n insid i wrote lots of tin.. n its so nice?? (i tin la!) n i sew n mark e point carefully by myself lo.. den wat in e end, didn't gif, so wasted!! donno how to handle dis card?? throw away? gif ppl or keep it to myself??...>>>>

mayb we reall haf no fate.. my senses tel mi tat.. hmmm.. hope i can ASAP forget him.. thanks!!!

Labels: ....ii haTe Him a LoT a LoT....

Friday, September 28, 2007 / 5:21 PM

HaPpY BiRtHdAy tO hiM??

HaPpY BiRtHdAy tO hiM??

Today is his birthday, and i not the one who celebrate with him but his "FRENZ".. dis make mi feel very wat, like i not impt lidat!!!

make mi plan a special birthday for him by going to waterloo centre which is near bugis area, order a cupcake cake for him as i wann to make it a differences dis year

^^^dis cake very nice isn't it?? but nice got wat use??..

ppl dun even no. onl waste my effort!!!

cos of dis stupid cake, make mi feel unwell... cos ytd 'he' say he will tak off n "prove to mi" n oso acc mi go collect as actuall wednesda is the date line of "prove to mi" tin, den in the end wat i get?? disappointment n angry but nothin else!!!

haiz. so i go to city hall to buy some "shirt ink" to design shirt for him.. den take bus 197 to bugis but in the end, i take wrong direction n just nice alight at my work place "Hong Lim Complex" ... den walk a LONG LONG way to tak other bus, so i took bus 145. suddenly feel head pain.. maybe is cos of the stupid sun!! n oso NO one acc mi!!

when reaching bugis area, i alight wrong place, n need to walk for long long distance... n tat time suddenly wish to vomit lo.. STUPID SUN!!!! hmmm.. den when i collect the cake,got some kind of "man zhu gan".. dunno y?? haiz...

but when i reached home ytd, its already 4plus, n yet, a concern of him, don even haf!!! den i sms him tell him tat i reached hm n guess he going to work ... n he sms tel mi 'NO'.. den fine, ok wit it if he don even concern mi!! but at night, don't even sms or wat.. making mi worry.. keep calling n sms.. even sms his mum..

but he 11 den reached hm.. i was so angry as he go out don even tel mi abt it!! wat m i to him actuall!! so i sms him tel him where he go, all he can say is ltr.. i was so fedup tat i say, i don wish to no n tc... few min ltr he cal mi n say he gone work, i was totally angry la!! go work don even sms tel mi, n his excuses is" hp going to no $, so must save" WAT E FUCK!! is his hp $ impt or mi??

sometimes i really curious is he reall like mi? i tin its fake!! who no?? onl he e one who no abt it!! n say, he went to the police station.. if not he can meet mi.. who wil believe??wat a joke.. if got the heart to come, no matter got go police station a not, stil wil come meet mi.. n he said he can't listen to my phone is cos tat he in police station..

i wondering in police station cannot ans phone meh?? excuses onl!! mayb ha wit other gal or other ppl den "bu hao yi si" listen to the phone... i reall dunno him.. he keep lyin n lyin.. n i tried of it!! n jus the date line is over, i tin we haf no fate to b together.. haiz.. n u no wat he say ytd??? he say saturday den "do" it.. WAT E FUCK lo..

y can't he like other guys??? once make ppl angry shld quickly do somethin suprise or make ppl won't angry... but he lei?? e opposite way of doing onl!!! is just like u haf a cut in ur hand, u must as fast as possible to make a treatment to e hand, if not it will getting infection or even worst!! dis example is jus extracly e same as tat...

i told him tat, but he seem to act blur.. den forget it.. i oso don wish to haf a stead like him.. i wish my stead can concern mi, wher i wan to go, he will acc, faithful to mi, won't lie to mi, make mi angry wil try to "hong" mi, n do some romance staff which can make mi shock or suprise... BUT "HE" lei?? alway mak mi angry, don even mak a romance staffs, cos of saving sms he don even tel mi where he go or watever fuck, lie to mi, n lots more.. ....


my feeling is just like dis picture>>>>

feeling very alone n lonely.. got stead n no stead there's no different at all.. having stead shld b happy n wish to maintain lidat.. but for mi, having a stead alwa mak mysel angry n disappointment each day.. haiz..

but secretly can say tat time reall can forget everythin.. so is relationship???... as i almost going to forget him... just onl a little step forwar onl.. but now, mi to him still got a little bit likes????.. but is less love den b4... last time so love him till mad.. silly rite.. haha..

mayb i won't tat sillly anymor le.. is not ur, wat for keep holding in the hand, rite?? n toda he don even call or sms mi, haiz.. stil say wil top up $ today.. in e end wat i got?? onl wil go n enjoy..i reall very sad... n i cry!!!

haiz.. my life reall miserable.. n he cal mi just now (at night) say he now wann go pasir ris park ALONE.. who will believe!!!!!! i don understan y he lidat treat mi!! even i say i wan him go hm, he die die must go pasir ris park, somethin reall fishy.. i can tel u tat.. he sure wit fren some where or wit his "GALZFRENZ"..

i can't trust him anymore..even i now angry, he wont even care abt it!!! jus enjoy his birthday.. his birthda very big la!!! den b it!! can feel tat i not impt to him at all.. n i no wat to do alread..break up!!!!! !!!!!

i reall haave enough of it le!!! !!! !!! ... ....

Labels: ....ii haTe Him a LoT a LoT....